Remote Control Bugatti
Bugattis are one of the most expensive automobiles on Earth. Fantasizing about owning or even just driving a Bugatti is like porn for people who watch Top Gear and/or work for "equity" at tech startups in San Francisco. A lot…
Showerhead with Built-In Wireless Speaker
Are you tired of taking the same old shower? It's, like, ugh, eeeevery day you get in the saaaame shower and there's, like, water in there and soap and shampoo and you just stand there, cleaning yourself while you space…
Flask Mittens
It's good to have a secret supply of booze on hand! And it doesn't get any more "on hand" than a pair of mittens with a flask hidden inside of one. Pack away four ounces of your favorite liquid pick-me-up…
Motion Simulator Couch Attachment
You know how theme parks will make new rides themed after blockbuster movies? This is kind of like that, except in your house. In fact, you don't even have to get off of your couch to ride this ride because…
Bourbon Barrel Aged Bacon Roses
Flowers, jewelry, kale shakes... Those kinds of gifts only work on a certain type of person. The rest of us are typically classified as "difficult to shop for" but that's not really true. We just like different things, like avoiding…
Liquor Log Booze Dispenser
Step away from the log, lady! That's no ordinary log - it dispenses a most valuable sap: booze! Or, well, okay, you could use it for non-alcoholic beverages, too, but let's be real... Nobody's buying this to drink water that's…
Los Pollos Hermanos magnet
Fans of Breaking Bad will immediately recognize Los Pollos Hermanos as Gus' fried chicken fast food franchise/money laundering business for his massive illegal drug operation. Despite vicious hoaxes, we very well may never get more episodes of Breaking Bad. All we…
EXCLUSIVE: Super Tuesday Booze Day
drunkMall is a humor website and, let's be honest, there is an unprecedented level of comedy in the 2016 American Presidential Election. Like, if you haven't been watching the GOP Debates, you're missing some of the best television of the…
Miniature Iron Throne
A real Iron Throne made from the swords of your vanquished enemies is, you know, probably not a thing you'll ever get to have. But a miniature replica, officially licensed by HBO? Psh, that's doable. Hell, you're looking at one…
The World’s Best Boomerang
"THAT'S not a boomerang!" All right, Crocodile Dundee, hang on a minute. That famous boomerang shape we've all known since childhood is a death trap, son. History lesson. Boomerangs are mostly known for being used by the indigenous people of Australia.…
Stroopwafels
This is everything dessert is supposed to be. The Dutch did a pretty good job of keeping stroopwafels to themselves for a long time but the secret is out! What's a stroopwafel? Well, the word literally means "syrup waffle" and that's basically…
Phone Ring
You've got to stop dropping your phone. You know it's a problem, don't even pretend. Every single time it slips out of your hand, time slows down and you know this is the one, this is finally the drop that's…