Super Long Beer Bong
You know how in party movies there's usually a scene with someone drinking a beer bong that has such a long hose there's a person standing on a roof with the funnel and the person drinking the beer bong is…
EXCLUSIVE: Greatest Hits of The Hype Machine
If you aren't aware that Frank Ocean (kinda) released his ridiculously hyped new album over this weekend, you probably don't need a website called drunkMall to tell you that you're out of touch with what's going on in the world today. But for…
Fire Extinguisher Lighter/Flashlight
Imagine if a fire extinguisher did the exact opposite of what a fire extinguisher is supposed to do... Wait, you don't have to do that because someone already made that thought into a reality! This little novelty won't help you…
Bourbon Flask
A standard flask doesn't really hold that much alcohol so you'd better make it count and fill it up with the good stuff! This flask has a 6oz. capacity, which is around 4 "official" shots of booze. Not a whole…
Cock Lover Beer Cozy
Who loves the cock? That's right - everyone loves the cock. Okay, we really should have called this a Cock Liker cozy - because it says "I LIKE" above a picture of a rooster - but be real for a…
Shittens Ass Wiping Mittens
Listen, we don't have to talk specifics on why a product like this is necessary. But facts are facts and it's a fact that this is a product that just about every one of us could have used at one…
Blow-Up Doll Mask with Wig
Equally hilarious and terrifying, depending on how it's used, this is a mask and wig for all fourteen of you people out there who've always fantasized about being a blowup sex doll! Or if you want to be a blowup…
Extremely Shiny Pants
Oh, it's hard to stand out in the crowd? You must not be trying hard enough or you must not know about these freaking pants. Because these pants are made to be seen! If there's a notable source of light…
40oz. Brown Bag Beer Koozie
So you've come up in the world since your days of hanging around the basketball courts brown baggin' a 40. You made it out of the streets. You did some school, got a job. Shit, now you've got enough spare…
Money Ball
You know that movie Moneyball? This has nothing to do with that. It's a miniature basketball with an all-over print of various US currency denominations. Why? Uh, you have any idea how much money an NBA player makes? They don't even…
Battleshots
This is one game that might be more fun to lose than win! Everyone's played Battleship. You know how it works. But anyone who's foolhardy enough to have tried making a full-size replica of Battleship with shots of alcohol in…
Heavy Metal Activity Book
Bust out the blood red crayons because this is the coloring book to kick the shit out of all other coloring books! Fun for ages 8 all the way up to you geezers with one foot in the grave, it's…