Bleeding Heart Bernie Sanders valentines cards

drunkMall is celebrating Single’s Awareness Day, so this is the only Valentine’s item we’ll be posting this year. But we just HAD to post this because it’s too good!

How else can you let your loved one know you want them to be your hunka hunk Bernie love? Or that you’re yearnin’ for a Bernin’?

You certainly can’t give them a Hillary or an O’Malley card. What would those be like? Let’s see. A Hillary valentine card could say, “Be my valentine until public opinion on you changes in ten years and I have to reverse my stance on you to keep from looking like a bigot” or, um, “You’re the only one for me, as long as the Super PAC that gives me millions of dollars say it’s okay!”

All right, now our idea of a Martin O’Malley card: “I dream about you day and night even though you have no idea who I am.” That’s a little stalker-ish. Can’t go for that. How about this: “In the few two minute conversations we’ve had together, I really feel like there’s a chance we could get to know each other better.”

Yikes, better stick with the Bernie cards!

[Like political humor? Hit up drunkMall’s Super Tuesday Booze Day gift guide!]

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