One Gallon Flask
That's a huge flask! The point of most flasks is to have a convenient and discreet method of carrying liquid, usually booze, on one's person. That is so not the point this time, folks! Well over a foot tall and weighing…
You Suck at Parking cards
Take the guesswork and creativity out of insulting strangers with rude notes by letting a pre-composed card do the talking for you! For the record, drunkMall believes in dealing with minor disagreements in person, calmly and rationally, but we're way,…
Romantic Cookbook for Men
Dudes who can't cook at all need to get it together. Do you look like Leonardo DiCaprio? Are you as rich as Bruce Wayne? Have you dedicated a year of your life to rescuing small kittens from the mouths of…
Buseyisms 2016 Calendar
A lot of people think Gary Busey is crazy. Well, if Busey is bananas then maybe we should all aspire to be out of our minds because Gary Busey seems like he's having an amazing time with being alive. Consider…
Hand-Shaped Phone Case
Give yourselves a hand! No, really! How'd you like to have an extra hand when you're using your phone? Or maybe you'd like to feel like you've got some friendly support when you find yourself in the middle of a…
EXCLUSIVE: Caturday Night Fever: For Cats and Cat Lovers Only
It's Saturday night and everybody's got the fever! Dancing Fever? No... No, that's dangerous at this level of wine intake... Cat Scratch Fever?! Mmmm... Let's not go with the thing that calls to mind serious infection and allegedly racist rockstars...…
Naughty n Nice Stay Puft Mug
Some days even coffee isn't enough to keep from turning you into an enormous evil marshmallow monster that wants to destroy an entire city and can only be killed by a massive explosion caused by crossing the streams of four…
Flask-in-a-Bible
Have you ever heard the phrase, "[person] always had a Bible in one hand and a bottle in the other"? Yeah, well, what about people who only have one hand? (Yeah, maybe you should try thinking before you say something…
Silk Suit Pajamas
Finally! A sleepwear solution for all the people who have to be ready to attend emergency formal functions at any hour of the day! The James Bond cosplay crowd ought to be stoked about this, for sure. Okay, let's break down what we're…
Brass Balls keychain
The (veiny) attention to detail here is admirable. This keychain is obviously our Singles Awareness Day countdown item of the day. Why? Because guys in relationships don't get to bring their balls with them when they leave the house. "Freedom" is…
Five Pound Bag of Gummy Bears
Oh you know that's right! FIVE POUNDS of gummy bears! Right off the bat, these are not the famous sugar-free gummy bears of death. These are 100% Haribo, Grade A, primo stuff - that good good! Now that we got that…
DDP Yoga for Regular Guys (and Girls)
Foreword by Rob Zombie?! Oh, you know this has gotta be good! But really, staying flexible is important. None of us are getting any younger. You may feel invincible now but after ten more years of taking Life's literal and…