Self Rolling Yoga Mat
When you do yoga right, the world feels like a magical place - and it just got a bit more magical! You know that feeling of walking out of a good yoga session. Unless someone backed in to your car…
Hot Dog Toaster
Make having hot dogs at home just as convenient as it is to have hot dogs anywhere else! [WARNING: if eating hot dogs is not something you should be doing for any reason at all, stop reading this post right…
Penis Worship Lighter
In the long tradition of greasy gold chains worn on exposed hairy chests and TIME TO FUCK wristwatches, we proudly direct your attention to this lighter in the form of a gargantuan golden cock being embraced (worshipped?) by a naked…
EXCLUSIVE: Sex Sells
You don't have to be a total piece of shit wannabe entrepreneur with a library of unread marketing books in the garage of your Hollywood hills home to know that sex sells. Just check the spam folder of your email. Probably…
Airplane Seatbelt Belt
Even if you haven't joined the Mile High Club yet, you can take a fashion tip from those jet airliners with this unique and stylish belt. It looks like someone ransacked a grounded 747 and cut all the seatbelts out…
Monty Python Watch
At this point, it looks like The Ministry of Silly Walks may find work in the current administration any day now... Whether or not that ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT comedy sketch from Monty Python becomes a reality in modern American politics, it…
Wall Mounted Bookmark
Reading a book before bed is the move. It's gotta be a real book, too, kids. Turns out staring at your beloved phone screen before bed is exactly the worst thing you can do before bed. Something about the kind…
Burger World Hat
Fans of immature 90s cartoons will remember that Beavis and Butthead "worked" at a fast food joint called Burger World. That ain't a real place but you can still rep it with flair wearing this Burger World snapback hat! Make…
Hooch Decanter
Present your less expensive boozes in a fancy way with this classy decanter! Handblown lab glass emblazoned with the word HOOCH in gold print. Whatever you keep in this bottle automatically looks like something that's fancy but you don't want…
Fondue Mug
Somehow there are restaurants you can go to that only serve fondue dishes. Can you believe that? It's true. Also, these restaurants are, without exception, astronomically overpriced. Many of them are so unapologetically expensive that they actually keep their menus…
Smart Lighting Upgrade
Every light switch in your house is stupid. Now hang on, don't get offended! All we're saying is that your light switches are not smart. You know, like, they can't be controlled with a smartphone like how all the cool…
GIVEAWAY: Ghostbusters Patch
If there's an empty place, ya need to fill that space... Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters! That's a song we made up just now about people who have jackets and backpacks with patches all over them but probably enough room…