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Vibrator Alarm Clock

Vibrator Alarm Clock

How'd you like to wake up to an orgasm every morning? Starting the day with a "bang" is always on the menu for those of you living with a sexual partner but all the singles out there should be able to…

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Sleep Machine and Smart Alarm

Sleep Machine and Smart Alarm

This amazing device is actually a full sleep system, incorporating a sleep sound machine, sleep monitor and smart alarm in a tiny and minimalist setup. Look at that photo. See the little ball on the nightstand? That's the speaker where…

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Dirty Santa Gift Guide 2016

EXCLUSIVE: Dirty Santa Gift Guide 2016

Anyone who tells you that you can't win Christmas is wrong. You can totally win that bitch and it all goes down in the main event: Dirty Santa! Everyone has their own version of the rules. Some of you degenerates…

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Tea Making Alarm Clock

Tea Making Alarm Clock

Save time and energy at the start of your day with this combination tea maker and alarm clock! It actually makes the tea for you automatically! Ready for the best part? Okay, the machine boils water and dispenses it into the…

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Dripping Clock

Dripping Clock

Time keeps on drippin' into the future! Like a surrealist painting come to life, this trippy clock hangs over the edge of a shelf as if it had been liquified by intense heat or as though the very fabric of…

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Blackout Clock

Blackout Clock

Deconstructing the traditional analog clock face results in a minimalist device that's essentially a functional piece of modern art! For today's entrepreneurial minds, there's nothing more important than cutting away the inessential. Streamlining of processes and minimizing data inflow to strictly…

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Pinata Clock

Pinata Clock

The clock for when you'd hit it anytime of day or night, 24/7! How you know this clock is really about that life is that it doesn't even have any numbers on it. Just a (honestly kinda weird looking) pinata…

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Windproof Lighter Watch

Windproof Lighter Watch

Light up your smokes like a smooth spy with this wristwatch! It's a fully functional time piece and cigarette lighter all-in-one. Well, okay, the three sub-dials don't work and are just decorative. But, come on, everyone knows that super fancy…

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On Becoming a Night Owl

EXCLUSIVE: On Becoming a Night Owl

Night owls have gotten a bad reputation throughout history. But that's horseshit because some of the smartest and most creative individuals who ever lived did a lot of that living well after the witching hour. Some famous examples include: Winston…

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Pre-Owned Domino's Pizza Rolex

Pre-Owned Domino’s Pizza Rolex

This is the most millennial product, maybe ever. Stick with us. This is a pre-owned 1997 Rolex with the Domino's Pizza logo on it. Let's roll through that one more time with some additional commentary. Pre-Owned Rolex. Someone bought a…

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Pikachu Alarm Clock

Pikachu Alarm Clock

You ever accidentally sleep in and miss out on a super rare Pokemon? Ugh, it's the worst! You don't have to let it go down like that next time, though. This retro style alarm clock has two bells and a…

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Wall Safe Dial Kitchen Timer

Wall Safe Dial Kitchen Timer

Time waits for no man, especially in the kitchen! Mere moments can be the difference between a great home-cooked meal and a surprise pizza delivery night. In these distraction filled days of social media updates and smartphone notifications, a good kitchen timer…

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