Silicon Valley Pied Piper Mousepad

Get in on the ground floor with these Pied Piper mousepads!

Listen, your job doesn’t pay well. It doesn’t pay at all. But you knew that was the situation when you came aboard. It’s a totally standard arrangement. Time is equity. That’s how everything works right now. This startup is gonna be valued in the billions. We’re looking at a potential unicorn, here.

But what we need to talk about right now is optimizing your output. It’s all those missed clicks and over scrolls. We need to work on your mouse accuracy. No, don’t talk. Maybe it really is the pattern on your desk but here’s what we’re gonna do.

You’re gonna grab this Pied Piper mousepad before the premiere of the new season of Silicon Valley. You’re not gonna make a comment about how the logo looks like a guy in a Robin Hood costume sucking a dick. And we’re gonna revisit this convo again next quarter.

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