Murder Shoes
Oh, these shoes are deadly! You'll be killing it all night in this pair of white dress shoes that look like they caught some serious blood splatter. Recommended for fans of Dexter, American Psycho, Hannibal... You know, pretty much any…
4 Pounds of Tootsie Pops
Do kids even know about Tootsie Pops anymore? A lot of you reading this may never have even seen one of the "how many licks" commercials before! Here's a YouTube link for those of you who haven't seen it. Yeah,…
How to Live with a Huge Penis
This isn't a book anyone actually needs to read. For instance, one of the sections is titled Unzipping: Coming Out to Your Friends & Family. Uh, okay. Step 1: don't. Your parents already know about your wang. And as for…
Trailer Park Boys Dope Shirt
The state of politics in America has literally reached the point where an extremely poorly educated (and fictional) Canadian pothead and criminal could stand a reasonably good shot at becoming President if they entered the race right now. How 'bout it,…
Propellor Powered Phone Charger
Sneaking in one last float trip this year? Bet you'd like to have an easy way to make sure the batteries on all of your mobile devices stay charged, huh? Well, that's exactly what this gadget does! Simply drop this…
Coffee Gummy Cubes
Caffeine is maybe the most socially acceptable addiction. Which is great because caffeine is amazing and the fact that so many people use it and it's legal and all of that means we get to enjoy fantastic innovations in the…
Cheap Lionel Richie Mask
Lionel Richie has one of the most warm and kind public personas of anyone in the music business. That makes this weird, cheap mask of his face with its cutout eyes all the more disturbing by contrast. It's like some…
How to Eat Out
It's a skill many claim to possess but few often do - the science and art of eating out. You may say, "Now, drunkMall, don't give me any of that business. I've been eating out for my entire life and…
Mr. Fridge Happy Face Magnets
The refrigerator may be the happiest place in every home - so put a happy face on it! If you think about it, the fridge brings so much joy into our lives... There's usually so much good stuff in the…
LED Shot Cups
It's lit, it's lit!!!! Next time the party's ready to throw down some shots, make sure it's super lit with some LED shots! Standard 2oz. capacity, made of hard durable plastic and loaded with an LED unit in the base…
8 Foot Wide Weather Balloon
Now THAT is a big balloon! Many times when people report having seen a UFO, the "official" explanation is that a weather balloon was in the area and happened to catch the moonlight just right and look all extraterrestrial-ish and…
Super Long Beer Bong
You know how in party movies there's usually a scene with someone drinking a beer bong that has such a long hose there's a person standing on a roof with the funnel and the person drinking the beer bong is…