Cap Catching Bottle Opener
Stop popping bottles and just letting the caps fall all over the place! That shit is sloppy. You're better than that, kids. Your house is your temple. Keep it clean. This bottle opener - spoiler alert - removes the caps…
Sriracha Beanie
Fight the cold with sriracha this winter! Wait, wait - don't dump hot sauce on your head. Bad idea! We're just talking about this wicked branded beanie cap! The weather gets cold and everyone has to hide under layers to…
Humane Bug Catcher
Just because you don't want that spider in your house doesn't mean you have to kill it. Don't get it wrong - that impulse to destroy something you fear is biological and nobody's judging you. Like, there are probably even…
Life Size Bigfoot Statue
Stop spending so much time in the woods looking for Bigfoot - you can get one right here! This life-sized sasquatch statue stands around 6 feet tall and is hand-cast from real crushed stoned that's bonded together with a designer quality…
Frankenberry Lip Balm
Frankenberry lip balm - so delicious that it's spooky! If you were lucky enough to have parents who understood that your baby teeth were just going to fall out anyway, you may be familiar with Frankenberry cereal. It's one of the…
Rogue Dead Guy Whiskey
For aficionados of American craft beer, Rogues' Dead Guy Ale is a big time favorite. Deservedly so. Dead Guy won First Place in last year's Great International Beer & Cider, as well as Gold Medalling in the 2015 World Beer Championship.…
Censorship Sunglasses
Do tabloids and sex ads in the back of awful porn magazines still use black bars over someone's eyes to "protect" their identity? You know, like, if some celebrity punches a paparazzo and the scumbag who got punched didn't give…
Guinness Slippers
Stay warm through the winter with a nice pint of Guinness... on each one of your feet! Even though Betty the Intern has an Irish uncle who swears soaking his feet in warm Guinness is great for his eczema (disclaimer:…
School Sucks Laptop Sleeve
Whether you're wasting your life trying to start a white-labeled e-commerce business or you're wasting your life in a classroom listening to a professor talk, chances are good that this laptop sleeve applies to you. Unless you attend Hogwarts or…
Dorm Chair
College is pretty much the last period of any adult's life when they can get away with owning a bean bag, so you should go all out if you're gonna have one. Dorm rooms are small, so you can't go…
Meat Cleaver Earrings
Need some jewelry that's deadly cool?! Look no further than these meat cleaver earrings! Have no fear - they only look sharp. The sides of your face should be fine. Probably. These are the kind of earrings worn by that kind…