Math Jokes Tote Bag
This product was made for two kinds of people: Math teachers people who need to buy a present for Math teachers It's a singular sense of humor. And you don't have to have it or even understand it. Just trust…
Abe Lincoln Bandages
Abraham Lincoln was such a great man that he's been dead for over 150 years but he's still here to help you out in your time of need. Why reach for a plain old flesh-colored bandage strip to protect that…
Wigged Pig Mask from Saw
You know how there are some people who think that Halloween is for dressing up in something cute or funny or slutty and heading out to a party to take a bunch of squad pics for Instagram? This mask isn't…
Stress Relief Smacking Sack
Hopefully you've never smacked somebody in the sack before. It's a very very extremely not nice thing to do to a person. Sometimes people do deserve it but, again, hopefully you've not been in such a situation. That being said...…
Alejandro Jodorowsky Miniature Backpack
Whenever we get around to making a list of products that literally nobody asked for, you can bet money that this will be on that list. For anyone who doesn't know who Alejandro Jodorowsky is, congratulations on deciding not to…
Frankenberry Lip Balm
Frankenberry lip balm - so delicious that it's spooky! If you were lucky enough to have parents who understood that your baby teeth were just going to fall out anyway, you may be familiar with Frankenberry cereal. It's one of the…
EXCLUSIVE: For Sriracha Lovers Only
Condiments are like a life insurance policy on any meal. Whether you effed up another cooking attempt at home or just paid too many dollars for a lackluster burger, chances are good that there's a bottle of something or other…
Revolver Herb Grinder
Ya gotta have a good grinder, man! We're essentially in a golden age for potheads. The spreading legalization of that sweet leaf has resulted not only in a spectacular rise in the quality of paraphernalia but also the potency of…
Like and Dislike Stamps
First of all, if Facebook added a "dislike" option to every post, that would change the world. It would be amazing. Can you even imagine? Okay, think about the last conversation you had off-Facebook (a.k.a. in "real" life) about something…
Fake Baguette Wrist Rest
Modern jobs are brutal on the human body. Sitting in a chair for hours on end, focusing your eyes at words on a screen, typing and typing and typing... At least if you worked in construction you'd be getting good…
Trolley Bags
If you're still bringing your groceries home in plastic bags, with everything we know about the effect that has on this planet, well, congratulations on your immunity to judgement from people who smell like patchouli. But, okay, this isn't even…
Deluxe Bathtub Caddy
Fuck. Yes. This is everything. Bathtub is bae. Bathtub is life. There's nothing in this whole wide world like immersing yourself - with all your stress and aches and tension - into a tub full of steaming hot water (and…