Creepy Face Masks
This is a kit of face masks that are supposed to do different things that are supposed to be really good for your face and skin and beauty stuff and stuff. And they're probably great at that. But they also…
One-Tenth Scale Ark of The Covenant
We watch Indiana Jones movies a lot here at drunkMall HQ, so we feel pretty qualified to say that this scale model of the Ark of the Covenant is very accurate. This probably exists because... Well, actually, there's no telling…
Your Photos on Rolls of Paper
Fucking finally... It's been a long hard road to travel without being able to get your social media photograph uploads transferred over to long rolls of paper but the journey was well worth it because here we are in 2017 with…
TableTopics Conversation Starters
Gone are the days of sitting around in awkward silence trying to figure out what to talk about! Tabletopics is a box of cards with thought-provoking questions meant to inspire entertaining conversations at the dinner table. Whether you're hosting a…
Cat Lady Action Figure
Spiderman doesn't do it for you? Can't relate to Supergirl? Perhaps your superheroes need to be a little less super! The crazy cat lady action figure is just what it sounds like it would be. A plastic figurine with positionable…
Cigarette Pillow
Make sure all smokers are aware of your home's smoking policy with this cigarette shaped throw pillow! Smoking cigarettes indoors destroys the value of a home. That smoke permeates the carpets and furniture and can even turn the walls and…
Murder Scene Terrarium
This deceptive terrarium contains a miniature murder scene investigation! Any fan of "murder porn" television who also has a keen eye for interior design will derive a twisted sense of enjoyment from this piece. Themes of life and themes of…
Zaphod Beeblebrox Head Prop
Heads up - this is a real prop from the hit movie, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and you can own it! Based on Douglas Adam's incredibly imaginative masterpiece, 2005's tHGttG (yeah, we're not typing that whole thing every time)…
Canned Scorpions
It's a can of scorpions! Don't worry - they aren't alive. (Although, that's probably a thing somewhere in this crazy world.) These scorpions are meant to be served as a little snack... Each can contains two Chinese Armor Tail scorpions…
NYE Smashing Plates
2017 is almost here! You ready to enter the new year with a smash?! Even if you aren't on the whole bandwagon with thinking that 2016 was like omg teh worst year evar, a lot of the rituals associated with…
Virus Stress Ball
Stress balls have mutated! Whatever strain of virus or plague this is, it does look pretty gnarly... Without pressure applied, it looks like an ordinary squeeze ball. Blue with a black honeycomb grid all around the surface. But when squeezed,…
Hitler Assassination Adventure Book
It's a question older than just about everyone reading this sentence: If you could go back in time and kill Hitler, would you do it? Now, here's a book that pre-supposes the answer to that question is "yes," choosing instead…