Skee Ball Machine
It's a dream come true for every kid who dropped more than a roll of quarters on Skee Ball at a Chuck E. Cheese - your very own Skee Ball machine! This is not a "home version" or smaller scale…
Carolina Reaper Pepper Grinder
This. Is. Not. A. Toy. The only people who should even be considering this as a purchase are those of you with iron guts and Teflon assholes. You know, the kind of person that automatically orders the most extreme level…
Virus Stress Ball
Stress balls have mutated! Whatever strain of virus or plague this is, it does look pretty gnarly... Without pressure applied, it looks like an ordinary squeeze ball. Blue with a black honeycomb grid all around the surface. But when squeezed,…
EXCLUSIVE: Not So Ugly Christmas Sweaters (And 1 Ugly One)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that but most of what people are calling "ugly" Christmas sweaters these days ain't all that ugly, if you ask us. Maybe you haven't been paying attention lately but the…
Metal Vacuum Straw
Pack a nose full in style, using a metal vacuum cleaner "snuff" straw! Listen, whatever you wanna put up your nose, that's none of our business - except for one thing: cash. Don't put rolled up currency in your nose. It's…
2017 Dragon Sex Calendar
Who's ready for 2017? There's been a lot of talk recently about how "bad" of a year this 2016 has been. Lots of famous people died, politics divided Americans in extreme ways and someone, somewhere, walked in on their parents…
Human Skull Cake Cups
Brains never tasted this good! Whip up your very best cake batter, pour it into these skull shaped silicone baking cups and throw those ghoulish dudes in the oven for a tasty treat so fun it's scary! Each order of…
Tenacious D Cum Towel
Possibly the greatest piece of music merchandise ever made and we should expect nothing less from Tenacious D, the self-proclaimed best rock band in the world. Featuring a cute pastel colored cartoon of such magical things as butterflies, a rainbow,…
UFO Detector
Holy Anunnaki! Did you know that anyone who wants to can buy a UFO detector? You'd think those things would be classified or require some sort of license or something but guess not. In addition to looking pretty neat with…
Cheeseburger Leggings
Burger time just got a lot more comfy! It's honestly the greatest thing that leggings (okay, yoga pants) have become insanely popular in the past few years because, real talk, it's basically like walking around in public wearing pajamas. This…
Cat Butthole Tissue Holder
What's with all the cat butthole products lately? You people are getting worse by the day... Anyway, here we go. This, as you are no doubt aware by now, is a tissue box holder that achieves the effect of tissues…
Hot Dudes Reading Photo Book
Okay, so, you know how you'll go to the coffee shop sometimes and there'll be a guy there, sitting by himself and reading a book and you can't decide if he's got an audition coming up for a part where…