Pregnancy Tests
At some point in most sexual careers, a pregnancy scare is will happen. Now, there are two types of pregnancy scare and the only difference between them is how many of the two people in the room are scared. (If you…
Glittery Unicorn Temporary Tattoos
Time to get faaabulous! Unicorn stuff gets posted on drunkMall a lot but there's a demand for this supply. The numbers don't lie and something about being drunk makes people want to throw down cash for unicorn swag. (If you're…
Ramune: Japanese Marble Soda
Ramune is called "marble soda" because the bottles are sealed with a glass marble, held in place by the carbonated beverage. To open the bottle, you push the marble down, breaking the seal and trapping the marble in the neck…
Frozen Dessert Machine
So here's the thing about the way you eat: it's the way you eat. That's all. Assuming you aren't a professional athlete or diet guru, the number of people who aren't you that care about the way you eat is…
Lunch at the Y Phone Case
This is a very naughty phone case and we like it. At some point, the internationally known sign language for "going downtown" was taken away from men who used it to make (usually unwanted) sexual advances and claimed by women as…
DARE Fanny Pack
It's just crazy enough to work... Think about it. If you had something fun or valuable to hide, where would the best place to hide it be? That's right - the most uncool place imaginable - a blue and yellow D.A.R.E.…
Bare-Chested Nic Cage Workout Poster
Inspiration. It's the fuel in our metaphysical gas tanks, as important to our drive and focus as food and water (and whiskey and beer) are to our bodies. Now look at this poster of a young Nicolas Cage. He's totally…
Donald Trump Voodoo Doll
Can Donald Trump be stopped? Some of the talking heads on television say he can, some say he can't. The truth is, none of them can be sure of what they're saying and only time will tell. There isn't a…
Bad Ass Babes Club T-Shirt
The best thing about the Bad Ass Babes Club is anyone who wants to be in it gets to be in it! All around the planet, babes are being total bad asses, rocking their little corners of the world to…
Emoji Masks
Calling it now: if there isn't already a Horror movie being made about a pack of murderers wearing emoji masks, there will be one in less than a year. There's no reason these masks should be scary but they just…
Giant Swan Pool Float
Serious question: is there a person whose job at the pool float factory is to test out the new pool floats? Because that has got to be the best job in the history of capitalism. Laying around in a pool,…
Coca-Cola Slushie Machine
Hands up if seeing that photo instantly gave you flashbacks to begging your mom to let you have a slushie while waiting in the checkout line at the store. Actually, screw putting your hands up - share this post instead!…