Rapid Ramen Cooker
This cooks ramen in 4 minutes and you don't have to stand there watching it not be ready to eat while you're starving. Just put it in the microwave, do the right buttons and come back when it's ready to…
Burrito Pencil Case
That is a delicious looking burrito. Except it isn't because it's really a pencil case that looks exactly like a burrito when it's rolled up. How neat is that? We've seen other stuff like it and we even featured a…
Toy Truck from Walker Texas Ranger
Man, we loved us some Walker, Texas Ranger in The ‘90s... Everybody did. But did you know? The show had a product placement deal with Chrysler’s Dodge line, which obviously explains why Walker drove that monster of a Dodge Ram (and…
Compose Your Own Music Box Melodies
Yeah, yeah, there are probably like ninety apps that do this... Nobody cares about your sick relationship with the app store, brah. Don’t be that guy. Let people have hobbies or even, like, casually vague interests without flexing millennial nuts…
Texting Gloves
Aw, yeah! Texting can be brutal in cold climates. Use any part of your body on a touchscreen and it works fine. (Any part. We checked. Yeah, we checked that part, too.) But just try texting while wearing your favorite…
Nicolas Cage mousepad
Ah, it’s like the first day of drunkMall all over again! Blah blah blah “epic”.... blah blah blah “one true god”... blah blah blah “this here mousepad represents a symbol of my individuality”... You know the drill. Here’s the thing about Nicolas Cage…
An Ocarina
Of Time? Well, sure! Everything is “of” time, isn’t it? As Ray Cummings said, “Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.” Ah, good one, Ray! We didn’t know they had the chronic back in 1922. Those were different times... Is…
Stress Balls with Super Annoying Faces
Most stress is caused by the sounds that come out of human faces. Therefore, it’s possible that stress balls would be more effective if they resembled annoying human faces, which these do. And the faces get even more annoying when…
Home Alone: 25th Anniversary Collector’s Edition
Macauley Culkin came out of nowhere last month to remind the Internet that he hasn’t yet died from a (pizza) overdose, so that’s nice. We didn't think that video was that funny, honestly, but that was prob because of the…
Whiskey Barrel-Aged Coffee Beans
It’s nice when we can bring a touch of refinement to drunkMall. Really, it would happen more often if we didn’t have a crippling phobia of suspenders, condescension and ridiculous mustaches… But that has nothing to do with today’s wonderful…
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles watch
Just like the red Coca-Cola watch we found during the epic #BlackoutFriday Countdown, the particular color of this watch is what makes it an essential addition to an accessory collection. The fact that it also has Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on…
Bath and Shower Wine Holder
Last week, we learned about showerbeers for our Shower Beer Buddy giveaway. Now that we’ve had time to think about it, we realized that showerbeers aren’t so crazy because we’ve known about drinking wine in the bathtub for years and…