Deluxe Bathtub Caddy
Fuck. Yes. This is everything. Bathtub is bae. Bathtub is life. There's nothing in this whole wide world like immersing yourself - with all your stress and aches and tension - into a tub full of steaming hot water (and…
Drunk Giraffe Wine Holder
Here's a wine holder for the drunk giraffe in us all! Not that we've ever seen a drunk giraffe. But if a giraffe did get drunk then it would be a pure shitshow. That high center of gravity and those…
Upside Down Wine Glass
Now this is a story all about how your wine got flipped, turned upside-down... Okay, okay... Sorry for getting the Fresh Prince theme song stuck in your head but it was too good to pass up. So, yeah, this is…
Apple -> Fart Scented Prank Candle
Fall is just around the corner and we all know what that means. The leaves will change, fire pits across America will start to see more use and pumpkin spice everything will start flying off the shelves. That's right, fall is basically…
Hoodies for Dogs
Hoodie weather is coming up soon! It's possible that fall is the best season of them all. The temperature settles between the brutal heat of post-global warming summer and the "you don't need to feel your ears" frigidity of winter.…
Vodka Bottle Phone Case
"I didn't text you. Vodka texted you." We've all done it. Shit, the theme of this entire website is getting drunk and shopping online, so it would be downright negligent of drunkMall not to show you this hilarious phone case! Have…
EXCLUSIVE: Human’s Best Friend
Humans don't deserve dogs. They're the greatest. No matter what stupid shit you did at work that day or who thinks you're the worst person they've ever met, if you take good care of a dog then that creature will…
Conch Shells
It's happened to all of us. You lied about going to the Bahamas over summer vacation when really you just didn't answer anyone's texts for six weeks and stayed inside playing 2k career mode... It happens! Everyone might buy that story…
Unicorn Rainbow Tape Dispenser
You can't glue the broke pieces of your life back together with unicorns and rainbows but if you need to, like, tape an envelope shut or some administrative shit like that - we've got great news for you - that…
Northern Exposure Cookbook
If you were born in the late 70s or early 80s then you may have a slight recollection of Northern Exposure as a show you channel surfed right past while searching for Beavis and Butthead or The Simpsons or some other…
Animal Butt Magnets
This set of magnets looks like the backsides of a bunch of different barnyard animals! You've got a sheep's butt, a rooster's tail, a pig's rump, a bull's behind, a cow's udder-ly huge hind end and a horse's ass! It's…
Obama Chia Head
Now that Obama's 8 years in office are almost up, he can finally chill out and relax a bit. You know, even let his hair grow out some if that's what he feels like doing. Can you even imagine how…