Just wait until Pinterest finds out about these! You know how much Pinterest loves mason jars, right? Turns out there's an entire population of people who believe you can and should prepare and serve every kind of food inside a…
It's almost hoodie season, which translates to "cardigan season" for everyone who's grown out of wearing hoodies. (Shame on you.) And if the weather's cooled down enough for outerwear then you know it's a suitable season for a spot of…
Ladies aaaaand Gentlemen! Step right up, right this way --- to your very own treasure chest of personal pleasures! This week we're transforming a small corner of drunkMall into a one-of-a-kind sex shop experience. Maybe you've visited the local lion's den…
This trucker hat is hotter than the fireballs Mario spits after picking up a fire flower! Super Mario Bros. level 1-1 is possibly the most widely recognized video game stage in history. Most of us have played it ourselves and…
Fuck. Yes. This is everything. Bathtub is bae. Bathtub is life. There's nothing in this whole wide world like immersing yourself - with all your stress and aches and tension - into a tub full of steaming hot water (and…
Here's a wine holder for the drunk giraffe in us all! Not that we've ever seen a drunk giraffe. But if a giraffe did get drunk then it would be a pure shitshow. That high center of gravity and those…
Ever tried to get a game of Truth or Dare going at a party? It usually sucks. Everyone's afraid to choose "dare" because they know their friends are all psychotic asshole, so it usually ends up with everyone sitting around…
Now this is a story all about how your wine got flipped, turned upside-down... Okay, okay... Sorry for getting the Fresh Prince theme song stuck in your head but it was too good to pass up. So, yeah, this is…
To boldly go where no man has gone before, right? Okay maybe not but lovers of outer space (and inner space) will enjoy these super cute briefs with a glow in the dark starscape printed all over the front and…
Michelangelo's sculpture, David, is unquestionably one of the greatest artistic achievements in human history. It's truly remarkable. But, since we're all stupid monkeys, all anyone ever talks about his the tiny penis on the statue. So David was a grower,…
"I didn't text you. Vodka texted you." We've all done it. Shit, the theme of this entire website is getting drunk and shopping online, so it would be downright negligent of drunkMall not to show you this hilarious phone case! Have…
Humans don't deserve dogs. They're the greatest. No matter what stupid shit you did at work that day or who thinks you're the worst person they've ever met, if you take good care of a dog then that creature will…