Chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just in the hand of, you know, really nice guys. It’s entirely plausible that the full visored helmet hoodie is beyond the budget of a lot of drunkMall shoppers - that’s why it was a #BlackoutFriday…
We used to have a beer bottle attachment that worked the same as the beer bong part of this and it was danger. While it was a lot of fun winning bets in biker bars over who could drink a…
A collection of witty, flirty pre-written texts you can send to that beautiful girl you just met… Yeah, if you’re trying to be on the front page of /r/cringepics tomorrow. Ask your grandfather if he remembers the advertisements in the…
Is there anything more American than guns and money? Yes: fake tits. Show those fake American titties the respect they deserve by using a money gun to rain down the cash. The Cash Cannon is a battery operated gun that…
Oh, shit, finally! Koozies always seemed kind of dumb to us because, like, drink your damn beer instead of holding on to it and the thing won’t get warm because there’s, what, five actual mouthfuls in a bottle? Sheesh! But…
It’s officially bathtub season, ladies and gentlemen! It’s cold as balls outside and nothing brings our toes back to life like a long soak in a tub full of warm water - but we don’t like to bathe alone! We…
That’s a really good title for a book. No idea what it’s about but good title. Any of you drunkMall shoppers ever read House of Leaves? That is one hell of a book. One of the main characters is named…
Ok, this was too weird for us to not post, so if you want to get all mad at us for having it on the site, we totally don’t care. Like, not even a little bit. Promise. So, yeah, what…
Maybe you’ve seen cheap pairs of novelty sunglasses that have a beer bottle opener on the arms - they were not Brewsees! Brewsees’ shades are the real deal - polarized lenses, 100% UV 400 protection, sturdy construction with a lifetime warranty…
Ah, this shirt! This shirt is a wicked parody of the ‘90s Kool-Aid commercials with a big red jug of liquid smashing through a brick wall into a room where kids are playing and shouting, “Oh, yeah!” like he was Macho…
We’re probably not supposed to call these a certain word. Lightsaber. Lightsabers are thing in the Star Wars movies. This isn’t a post about lightsabers. This is a post about an amazing new foam toy that anyone who likes lightsabers…
This is the Feb. 1998 issue of Playboy Magazine. There’s nothing special about it. Except that it represents a point in time that is gone and will never return. A time when whoever the hell Daphne Decker is happened to…