144 Beer Pong Balls
Name one thing that wouldn't be better if it had balls. That's right, you can't! Huh, what's that? Didn't quite hear you there? No, YOU'RE a post on a website that it would be pointless to try talking to with…
Everything Is Bullshit book
Happy Singles Awareness Day, everybody! Everything Is Bullshit wraps up our S.A.D. Countdown for 2015 because a lot of the "traditions" of being in a relationship are 100% ridiculous, downright cruel, even. Did you see Blood Diamond? Watch Blood Diamond…
Brass Balls keychain
The (veiny) attention to detail here is admirable. This keychain is obviously our Singles Awareness Day countdown item of the day. Why? Because guys in relationships don't get to bring their balls with them when they leave the house. "Freedom" is…
I Love Sludge Metal shirt
It kinda sucks that Eyehategod is one of the first bands mentioned on Wikipedia's sludge metal entry because we were going to talk about them to establish cred with the genre police... now it could look like we're full of shit…
WTF: Situational Survival Guide
From the second we're born, this life is one WTF moment after another... WTF? is a book that claims to show us "How to Survive 101 of Life's Worst Fucking Situations" From the description, the types of situations seem to…
Five Pound Bag of Gummy Bears
Oh you know that's right! FIVE POUNDS of gummy bears! Right off the bat, these are not the famous sugar-free gummy bears of death. These are 100% Haribo, Grade A, primo stuff - that good good! Now that we got that…
Fetty Wap Glock in My ‘Rari decal
If you for real have a Ferrari, hey, that's awesome. Good for you. Most of us, however, don't. But this lyric still means something to us because we've all got our own metaphorical Ferraris, yeah? And metaphorical Glocks to protect…
Singles Awareness Day countdown
Hopefully you've already noticed a new tag in use on drunkMall, or at least seen a few posts here and there with the letters "SAD" at the beginning of them and wondered what was up with that. Here's what's up with…
Spankrags Motivational Tissues
Today's S.A.D. product may be a little controversial but drunkMall never shies away from controversy! (We're still prepared to fight you in a cage James Franco.) Some people believe that a strong individual should be able to work towards their own…
Custom Guitar Pick Maker
You can make guitar picks out of all sorts of things with this sweet gadget! As long as it's 1mm thick or less (that's bigger than it looks, ladies - we swear), then you're good to go! Depending on what…
Party Fanny Pack
When it's time to party we will party hard! Send the message loud and clear with a neon pink fanny pack that says "PARTY" in all caps - it doesn't get much more direct than that! Here's the thing about…
Teabaggin’ mug
Here's one for all you teabaggers out there! The waiting is the hardest part. You can see it on the little teacup's face. He's been patiently waiting 3-5 minutes to steep the perfect brew before he could get to the…