Romantic Cookbook for Men
Dudes who can't cook at all need to get it together. Do you look like Leonardo DiCaprio? Are you as rich as Bruce Wayne? Have you dedicated a year of your life to rescuing small kittens from the mouths of…
Minecraft Pickaxe Bottle Opener
It's no Diamond Pickaxe but that Iron one gets the job done just as well! Here's a bottle opener for everyone who plans their entire week around how many hours of Minecraft they can get in if everything goes well.…
Random Bullshit on VHS (and a DVD)
Here's the deal: drunkMall is working on some huge, top-secret, behind-the-scenes shit right now. As a result, we have not been keeping up with correspondence pertaining to scheduling giveaways. Giveaways are still happening and there are some really awesome things…
Buseyisms 2016 Calendar
A lot of people think Gary Busey is crazy. Well, if Busey is bananas then maybe we should all aspire to be out of our minds because Gary Busey seems like he's having an amazing time with being alive. Consider…
Los Pollos Hermanos magnet
Fans of Breaking Bad will immediately recognize Los Pollos Hermanos as Gus' fried chicken fast food franchise/money laundering business for his massive illegal drug operation. Despite vicious hoaxes, we very well may never get more episodes of Breaking Bad. All we…
Checkers Shots
One fun thing that adults like to do is the exact same things they did when they were small children, only with a massive amount of booze involved. Ping pong? Beer pong. Battleship? Battle shots. Tic-tac-toe? Tic tac bro. While not…
Sushi Candy in a Box
Making the decision between having sushi and having candy is always so difficult... Why not have both?! Assuming this isn't one of the first fifty websites you've ever seen, you've probably already figured out that this product comes from Japan, land…
Megapack of 100 Random Stickers
Stickers are actually used as a form of currency in some countries that exist in our imagination because we totally fabricated the first twelve words of this sentence because we think it would be funny if they were true. They…
Gold NES Zelda Cartridge Backpack
It's not fair that people think adults who carry backpacks everywhere are drug dealers. Look at this backpack! We didn't have anything even close to this awesome when we were kids! It's not right and it's not fair. So, you…
Map to Poundtown condom
Everyone has gotten lost on their way to Poundtown before. It happens to the best of us, no matter how well you plan the route, make sure you pee before leaving home, double-check that the space heater is unplugged... Doesn't…
Unicorn Bandages
Each box of Enchanted Unicorn Bandages contains 15 large, sterile latex strip bandages. But these aren't your everyday boo-boo bandages! Oh no! These have extra Unicorn Power* and rainbows and sparkly stars! Whether you fell off your skateboard or had…
EXCLUSIVE: Super Tuesday Booze Day
drunkMall is a humor website and, let's be honest, there is an unprecedented level of comedy in the 2016 American Presidential Election. Like, if you haven't been watching the GOP Debates, you're missing some of the best television of the…