Flask Mittens
It's good to have a secret supply of booze on hand! And it doesn't get any more "on hand" than a pair of mittens with a flask hidden inside of one. Pack away four ounces of your favorite liquid pick-me-up…
Bacon Towel
It's a good thing this hand towel isn't as greasy as it looks! The quality of printing on these things is really getting out of control. It almost looks too real... Even the most devout bacon lover may shy away from…
Stress Boob
It makes sense, really. Squeezing a boob was probably one of the first things you ever did to deal with stress when you were only an infant. Now that you're older, there won't always be a boob on hand when…
Luck You shirt
St. Patrick's Day is like the Olympics for alcoholics. If you've been out of the game for a while, you can't just come right back off the bench and expect to go the distance. It'll be a blowout. There's a lot…
Motion Simulator Couch Attachment
You know how theme parks will make new rides themed after blockbuster movies? This is kind of like that, except in your house. In fact, you don't even have to get off of your couch to ride this ride because…
Bourbon Barrel Aged Bacon Roses
Flowers, jewelry, kale shakes... Those kinds of gifts only work on a certain type of person. The rest of us are typically classified as "difficult to shop for" but that's not really true. We just like different things, like avoiding…
Pizza Slut sweatshirt
Okay, first of all? We are not using "slut" as a derogatory term, here. We own that word, as a label of strength and empowerment. Pizza empowerment! There is no reason to be ashamed of being a pizza slut. All that means…
LED Shades from The Trinity Schill Kill video
The Trinity Schill Kill is drunkMall's favorite band making music today. If you like early Prince and Bad/Dangerous-era Michael Jackson, you've gotta check 'em out and there's no better time than right now because they just dropped their first…
Liquor Log Booze Dispenser
Step away from the log, lady! That's no ordinary log - it dispenses a most valuable sap: booze! Or, well, okay, you could use it for non-alcoholic beverages, too, but let's be real... Nobody's buying this to drink water that's…
Eye of Sauron Necklace
There are two ways of looking at this Eye of Sauron pendant. One, after the destruction of the Ring and Sauron's defeat, his fall was so great that it allowed his all-seeing eye to be captured and locked away in this…
Alarm Clock on Wheels
Are you the kind of person who has trouble getting out of bed in the morning? Would you classify yourself as a "Snooze Addict," hitting that "five more minutes" button over and over again? Take control of your mornings back…
Junk Food Socks
Calling all snack queens! Here we have eight pair of the most deliciously decadent footwear imaginable: women's ankle socks with all-over prints of various foods of varying indulgence! You've got your cookies and ice cream, your pancakes and snack cakes, your…