Doggystyle Skeleton Sex Statue
The hip bone's connected to the butt bone when this statue is on display! You know what they say, everyone's the same on the inside. We're all just skeletons banging it out with each other when the lights are off,…
GIVEAWAY: Face Blanket
There are certain times in life when the world needs to forget about your face for a while. For those times, there is now: Face Blanket! Face Blanket drapes over your head and completely obscures your face from the world,…
Mermaid Titties Incense Burner
If you like boobs and incense then this is the incense burner for you! Now, straight up, we have no idea how this thing works but it's called a backflow incense burner. Whatever backflow is, we're assuming that's what causes…
Vincent Van Gogh Action Figure
X-Men and The Flash aren't the kind of heroes everyone needs but those are pretty much the only game in town for action figures. It makes sense. The word "action" is right there. The little doll has to have moving…
Penis Worship Lighter
In the long tradition of greasy gold chains worn on exposed hairy chests and TIME TO FUCK wristwatches, we proudly direct your attention to this lighter in the form of a gargantuan golden cock being embraced (worshipped?) by a naked…
EXCLUSIVE: Sex Sells
You don't have to be a total piece of shit wannabe entrepreneur with a library of unread marketing books in the garage of your Hollywood hills home to know that sex sells. Just check the spam folder of your email. Probably…
Storm Glass
Nobody really knows when or where storm glass was invented... But in the 1800s, a sea captain by the name of Robert FitzRoy* was sailing around South America with Charles Darwin and Robert ran some experiments (or whatever) with storm…
Pink Lips Ashtray
These ceramic ashtrays look like an open pair of lips. And, yeah, that's a little weird because if you imagine a cigarette being ashed into an open mouth, that's pretty damn gross. But also it totally fits in with any…
Pro Level Travel Pillow
Sleep is the best thing ever. It's better than sex, drugs, any form of entertainment, anything! Think about it. You can be in an airport, in a car, on a bus, surrounded by annoying people, and if you manage to…
Cigarette Butts Sweater
If you're wondering whether or not this sweatshirt is what's considered fashionable these days, you can stop wondering because young adults will wear the shit out of this. Why? Are you serious? Have you been paying attention to fashion even…
Tits Out Wrist Rest Mousepad
Sitting at a computer all day every day can be really bad for your body. That's not what your system was made to do, like even a little bit, so you probably need to make adjustments to your setup to…
GIVEAWAY: Eyes Open Sleep Mask
Never let anyone catch you sleeping again! This sleep mask is printed on the outside with an image of WIDE OPEN human eyeballs. Block out the light to help you get better sleep while looking like the most alert person…