Reality Mirror
This mirror has the words "it's not true" laser cut into its surface and there's a switch on the side where you can turn an LED to backlight the words. Why? Because Art, that's why. You philistine. Looking at yourself…
Deluxe Bathtub Caddy
Fuck. Yes. This is everything. Bathtub is bae. Bathtub is life. There's nothing in this whole wide world like immersing yourself - with all your stress and aches and tension - into a tub full of steaming hot water (and…
Drunk Giraffe Wine Holder
Here's a wine holder for the drunk giraffe in us all! Not that we've ever seen a drunk giraffe. But if a giraffe did get drunk then it would be a pure shitshow. That high center of gravity and those…
Amazing Deodorants
This is unquestionably the best scented deodorant that has ever been worn inside drunkMall HQ. The boss man picked some of this stuff up a couple years back, when the company went by a different name, because they also make some…
Drunko Card Game
Ever tried to get a game of Truth or Dare going at a party? It usually sucks. Everyone's afraid to choose "dare" because they know their friends are all psychotic asshole, so it usually ends up with everyone sitting around…
Bacon Scarf
It's hard to rock a scarf without looking like Steven Tyler a.k.a. classic rock's most fashionable grandma. But not when it's a bacon scarf! Never fear, it isn't a scarf made from real bacon. It's only a scarf printed to…
Upside Down Wine Glass
Now this is a story all about how your wine got flipped, turned upside-down... Okay, okay... Sorry for getting the Fresh Prince theme song stuck in your head but it was too good to pass up. So, yeah, this is…
Wireless Sweat-Proof Earbuds
The earbuds that come in the package with smartphones are garbage. They don't sound good. They aren't comfortable. They fall out of your ears. Throw those in the trash because there's a whole world of better options out there. For…
Apple -> Fart Scented Prank Candle
Fall is just around the corner and we all know what that means. The leaves will change, fire pits across America will start to see more use and pumpkin spice everything will start flying off the shelves. That's right, fall is basically…
Hoodies for Dogs
Hoodie weather is coming up soon! It's possible that fall is the best season of them all. The temperature settles between the brutal heat of post-global warming summer and the "you don't need to feel your ears" frigidity of winter.…
Glow in the Dark Space Panties
To boldly go where no man has gone before, right? Okay maybe not but lovers of outer space (and inner space) will enjoy these super cute briefs with a glow in the dark starscape printed all over the front and…
Golf Club Piss Jug
This is what they call a gamechanger! Golf is a game where you spend most of a day walking around outside and swinging various sticks at a little ball until you knock it into this hole or that hole. It's…