Rubber Ducky with a Dick
It’s officially bathtub season, ladies and gentlemen! It’s cold as balls outside and nothing brings our toes back to life like a long soak in a tub full of warm water - but we don’t like to bathe alone! We…
The Universe Doesn’t Give a Flying Fuck About You
That’s a really good title for a book. No idea what it’s about but good title. Any of you drunkMall shoppers ever read House of Leaves? That is one hell of a book. One of the main characters is named…
Bread Seat
If that mousepad was weird then this bread seat is so deep into WTF territory we don’t even know where to start looking for the map! This kinda reminds us of those seemingly useless folded seats that moms always take…
Sexy Booty mousepad
Ok, this was too weird for us to not post, so if you want to get all mad at us for having it on the site, we totally don’t care. Like, not even a little bit. Promise. So, yeah, what…
A Used Issue of Playboy Magazine from February 1998
This is the Feb. 1998 issue of Playboy Magazine. There’s nothing special about it. Except that it represents a point in time that is gone and will never return. A time when whoever the hell Daphne Decker is happened to…
Wearable Sleeping Bag
For those of us still unfortunate enough to experience the season they’ll call “Winter” in the history books of the future, getting out of bed in the morning sucks. For the same reason babies cry upon their exit from the womb,…
Burrito Queen framed drawing
Someone took time out of their day to sit down and draw a burrito lady with makeup and a tiara, wearing aluminum foil like a dress, with the caption, “I’m Burritoful.” That’s how art is made. We pretty much just randomly…
Salon Cape with Viewing Window
Sometimes we see an invention and wonder how it took so long for someone to think of it. A salon cape with a viewing window solves problems for customers and hairdressers. “What problems?” We’ll tell you! Getting a haircut can be pretty…
Rude Party Balloons
After a certain point, going to parties becomes a chore like any other thing you’re supposed to do. We called these Rude Party Balloons but we maybe should have called them Honest Balloons because “THIS PARTY IS SHIT” should have been…
Cupcake Flavored lip balm
And just like that, life is sweet again! Ok, here’s the dangerous thing about the fact that we just posted cupcake flavored lip balm. People are going to click it and see all of other magical things that are cupcake…
Full House View-Master Reels
We had to go deep into Amazon to come back out with this treasure, ladies and gentlemen, but we think it was worth it. The description is basically non-existent but does that even matter? How much more nostalgic can it…