Cupholder Mittens
File this one under #NEEDS, right? It's cold. You're drunk and maybe your hand's a little numb. You drop your beer. It's a tragic tale and one we've all lived a time or two but it's time to put…
Kanye 2020 shirt
Sure! Why not? Ronald Reagan was a crappy actor and he got to be president, so why not Ye? He’s already great at pissing everyone off and not caring what they think about it, so that part of the job…
Taco Emoji Sweater
Tacos are everything. There once was a time when the world did not have a taco emoji. Can you imagine? For real, ask someone who was there - they’ll tell you. The year was 2015. We had all these emoji.…
Guns n’ Roses Sweater
G n’ R is back, baby! For the record, this is not an ironic or “ugly” sweater. It is a spectacular sweater and anyone should be proud to own it, especially since the band is performing again. We’re not really…
Pink Pizza Shirt
Pizza is passion. When you find the right pizza, you can hit that shit three times a night. Just pushing your endurance to the max, hitting peaks of pleasure you’ve only read about in the finest of erotic novellas. Pizza…
Futuristic Cyclops Sunglasses
Can everyone please start dressing like it’s the year 2016 already?! The future is bunk. The closest thing we have to flying cars is Uber surge pricing throwing our money out the window. Hoverboards? More like “have I told you that…
Pizza Baby Maternity Shirt
Life’s miracles make themselves known to us in such beautiful ways! We’ve all seen it happen... Your friend arrives to the lunch meeting. It’s been a while but her complexion is rosier than you recall - practically glowing. When she…
Texting Gloves
Aw, yeah! Texting can be brutal in cold climates. Use any part of your body on a touchscreen and it works fine. (Any part. We checked. Yeah, we checked that part, too.) But just try texting while wearing your favorite…
The Kardashian Centipede t-shirt
We’ve never even considered watching The Human Centipede but if it was a documentary and starred the Kardashian siblings? We’d watch that shit on a daily basis. Some mad Photoshop skills went into the creation of this design and we’ve…
Loveless t-shirt
Look, we don’t have time to get into it but Loveless by My Bloody Valentine is the greatest album that has ever been made. If you haven’t heard it, don’t even listen to it. It’s too good for your first…
Capt. Picard Facepalm t-shirt
A shirt for those of us who frequently feel the walls of mankind’s colossal stupidity closing in all around us. It never ends... Every day’s “trending” sidebar is more ridiculous than the day before. "What did Florida Man do today?," we…
Kitty Cat Panties
How adorbs are these spandex briefs with little kitten faces printed right where they ought to be?! That model sure looks excited to be wearing such neat underwear. Though, she could be cold from not wearing pants and we’re assuming…