4 Pounds of Tootsie Pops
Do kids even know about Tootsie Pops anymore? A lot of you reading this may never have even seen one of the "how many licks" commercials before! Here's a YouTube link for those of you who haven't seen it. Yeah,…
Mr. Fridge Happy Face Magnets
The refrigerator may be the happiest place in every home - so put a happy face on it! If you think about it, the fridge brings so much joy into our lives... There's usually so much good stuff in the…
Super Long Beer Bong
You know how in party movies there's usually a scene with someone drinking a beer bong that has such a long hose there's a person standing on a roof with the funnel and the person drinking the beer bong is…
Weenie Whistle
If you've ever seen the classic Christmas movie The Santa Clause then you honestly don't even need to read this post. Just scroll down to the bottom, click the link button and pick yourself up a legendary weenie whistle. Everyone…
EXCLUSIVE: Greatest Hits of The Hype Machine
If you aren't aware that Frank Ocean (kinda) released his ridiculously hyped new album over this weekend, you probably don't need a website called drunkMall to tell you that you're out of touch with what's going on in the world today. But for…
Fire Extinguisher Lighter/Flashlight
Imagine if a fire extinguisher did the exact opposite of what a fire extinguisher is supposed to do... Wait, you don't have to do that because someone already made that thought into a reality! This little novelty won't help you…
12 Pack of Tic Tac
There's "not terrible" breath and then there's Tic Tac breath. The difference is huge and noticeable. If it's so easy to have Tic Tac breath then why would you ever settle for "not terrible" breath? You're better than that. You…
Tiny Drone
This thing is so cute! It's possible that this isn't the smallest drone available for public purchase but if there's a smaller one then we sure haven't seen it. It's so tiny that the remote control used to plot the…
The Taco Cleanse
Every few years a new "cleanse" comes around and all the Pinterest mommies with baby strollers in the crowded coffee shop talk way too loudly about how OMG AMAZING they feel after doing it. It's all bullshit. You know why?…
Extra Cute Extraterrestrial Pins
These pins are out of this world! It seems like every movie about aliens coming to Earth thinks the aliens will either be coldly murderous and want to exterminate the human race or some breed of space hippies trying to…
Wall Safe Dial Kitchen Timer
Time waits for no man, especially in the kitchen! Mere moments can be the difference between a great home-cooked meal and a surprise pizza delivery night. In these distraction filled days of social media updates and smartphone notifications, a good kitchen timer…
Bacon Bandages
The healing properties of bacon are, uh, non-existent, as far as we know. Still, that didn't keep anyone from inventing bacon bandages! Made to the same specifications and standards of other consumer grade adhesive bandages, bacon bandages do the same…