Cross that weird uncle off your Christmas shopping list because we've got his present sorted right here! According to legend and movies with an obscene number of prosthetic mustaches, there was a time in America when every straight single dude…
Manscapers rejoice! It's really never been easy for dudes to keep their backs clean-shaven. Especially for single guys because of the obvious "reach" problem but even for a man in a relationship. Asking your significant other - whom, ideally, you'd…
Dem bones, dem bones, dem SEX bones! Here's one for the pervy goth crowd. Maybe you really did lose your virginity in a graveyard but hopefully you didn't get boned by an actual skeleton like the girl in this statue.…
All those jokes about vegans and nobody ever considers what it's like to actually date or live with one. Two vegans living together, hey, that's probably fine. Quiet nights at home, watching documentaries and ignoring each other's seitan farts. How…
Hopefully you've never smacked somebody in the sack before. It's a very very extremely not nice thing to do to a person. Sometimes people do deserve it but, again, hopefully you've not been in such a situation. That being said...…
Thaaaat is a cute white dress covered in a bunch of human sperm cells fertilizing some eggs. That's what that is. We're calling this a fertility dress. Not because it's supposed to help you meet the perfect life mate/sperm donor and…
It's always time to look at a beautiful male body when you've got The Daily Hunk 2017 calendar! Time... It's the only thing worse than relatives, as Alfred Weinsten would say. Time flies when you're having fun but most of…
You've heard about Sex Panther cologne? "60% of the time, it works every time..." Well forget that shit! This is SURE FUCK! SURE FUCK is the only cologne that's guaranteed to come with a label that says SURE FUCK on it…
Ladies aaaaand Gentlemen! Step right up, right this way --- to your very own treasure chest of personal pleasures! This week we're transforming a small corner of drunkMall into a one-of-a-kind sex shop experience. Maybe you've visited the local lion's den…
This is unquestionably the best scented deodorant that has ever been worn inside drunkMall HQ. The boss man picked some of this stuff up a couple years back, when the company went by a different name, because they also make some…
Michelangelo's sculpture, David, is unquestionably one of the greatest artistic achievements in human history. It's truly remarkable. But, since we're all stupid monkeys, all anyone ever talks about his the tiny penis on the statue. So David was a grower,…
