The Little Book of Butts
You like butts. Know how we know? Because EVERYBODY likes butts. This is a book about butts. It’s a good book to give to people who love butts and people who don’t love butts because it’s a book about butts.…
Nikki Lipstick Panties
These are some sassy G-strings! Nikki Lipstick is responsible for bringing these thongs into existence. There are over 15 different sayings available and NONE of them have any chill! (Well, the ones that say “xanax,” maybe…) These will make a perfect…
Humping People Wall Outlet Decals
Turn boring electrical outlets into a mindlessly rutting couple for good with these decals! Who was the person who looked at their wall and saw this image? We don’t know! Make sure you apply them correctly and you’ll have hilarious…
Cheeseburger Ball Gag: The Silencing Slider
Here’s a lovely creation from Gorge Ohwell: It’s a ball gag that looks like a cheeseburger! They call it The Silencing Slider and it’s made of soft, non-toxic, food grade silicone. Don’t worry, it doesn’t smell or taste like a…
Netflix and Chill condoms
Are there any babies named Netflix Chill Smith, yet? Probably… Look, everyone knows what “Netflix & Chill” means by now, right? If not, this product should give you a clue. (Hint: it means sex.) Getting to first base should be no…
Cookbook of Semen-Based Recipes
This seemed like a funny thing to put up but, honestly, now that we’re supposed to write this post and actually imaging what it would be like to eat food with cum in it… It’s triggering a gag reflex… But…
Professional Quality Police Handcuffs
We definitely aren’t lawyers or anything but we’re pretty sure you can legally use these handcuffs on another person as long as you have their permission… Just be sure you know where the key is at all times because if…
Paleo Sex Positions and Recipes
Eat & F**k Like a Caveman (or Cavewoman) with this handy little guidebook! Break out of eating the same old things with some new recipes that fit your Crossfit eating plan, then put all of that extra protein to good…
Delicious Mint Chocolate Deep Throat Spray
You read that correctly! Apparently, there are some over-achievers in this world who need a little help on the path to unlocking their full potential. That’s right, we’re talking about competitors in a championship sausage eating contests. Now, it’s against…
36″ Battery-Operated Cattle Prod
drunkMall has a “no questions asked” policy. If you need a cattle prod, hey, we just want to show you a cool cattle prod that we found. That’s your business. Amazon buyers like to ask a lot of questions before they…
Bacon Flavored Lube
Bacon, bacon, bacon… Whenever bacon was invented was a truly great moment in the history of the world. Can you imagine what the person who discovered bacon must have been thinking? Hopefully that person and their family became rich because…
The Shocker Keychain
So wrong, yet so funny. Probably the quickest way to let someone know what kind of person you are, too! Right on your keychain, which is why drunkMall loves keychains! This keychain is made by Choy Boy Designs and they have…