Cake-Sicle Pan
If you happen to be browsing drunkMall while, um, “up” instead of “down,” we’d like to issue you a formal apology for the extremely stimulating image to which you were just exposed. Initial exposure to cake-sicles is usually not met…
Time-Released Pet Feeder
Many people who have pets have had to end a good night out before they were ready. Why? Because they were responsible people and had to go home to feed the animals. If they had a feeder that automatically dispensed…
Elvie: The Kegel Tracker
The benefits of Kegel exercises for women are widely documented by physicians far smarter than anyone who will ever be writing posts on drunkMall. If you’re unfamiliar with the practice, we certainly recommend hitting up your favorite search engine and…
Beanie with Built-In Bluetooth Headset
Just in case, you know, it’s cold and you don’t mind people wondering for a couple minutes longer than if you had a regular Bluetooth earpiece whether or not you’re a totally insane person, walking in circles and talking to…
Buzz Cocoa: Caffeinated Hot Chocolate
This is genius. We’re all about drugs at drunkMall - as long as they’re legal! And caffeine is legal as fuck. In fact, that should be caffeine’s new slogan - Caffeine: It’s Legal as Fuck! Anyway, what you’re looking at…
Cuddle Pillow
Cutting off the circulation to one arm has long been the plight of the big spoon in every extended cuddle session - but no more! The Armadillow is thicker on one side - so the person at the back has…
SleepPhones: Headphones in a Headband
Trying to lay down while listening to music on headphones (or earbuds) S-U-C-K-S but SleepPhones has the solution - speakers in a comfortable headband! Dial up your sleepytime playlist and get comfy. [Psst, we're not trying to call you out…
Breakfast Sandwich Machine
You’re gonna eat a McWhat?! Nah, that’s cool. We’re just gonna hang back and feast like gods because we have this machine that hooks up the toasted muffins, poached eggs and warmed breakfast meats! This changes so much.... Share this…
Teach Yourself How to Pick Locks
All right, 007, here’s your chance to learn at least one of the skills your 8 year-old self would be pissed at you for not already knowing by now: lock-picking All you’ll need is a good set of lock picks…
Fizz Saver Soda Dispenser
Put your 2 liters on tap! This gizmo uses all sorts of science type theories we don’t understand to keep the carbonation in soda. Plus you get to pull sodas from a little handle like you work in an old-timey…
Wake ‘n’ Bake Mug with Built-In Pipe
Oh, you aren’t a morning person? We’ll see about that… Here’s a mug that can quickly deliver a morning dose of strong black coffee, or chronic green, uh, tea… and a bowl of the finest tobacco - all in one…
“Levitating” Coffee Mug
If you find yourself staring at this mug, wondering how it’s floating, you are not awake enough yet. We do like the design of the mug, though. It’s pretty slick, ultra-modern and supposedly not as easy to knock over as…