Cargo Pocket hoodie
Carrying a backpack everywhere makes people look like drug dealers. For real. If you’re cool with that, hey, fine. But for the rest of us, we have to find other ways to lug all our gear around. Which is why…
LED Necktie
Hey, we know how it is. You’ve got a day job but that doesn’t make you a square, man! You’re hip - we get it! But how are you gonna let today’s counterculture youth know you’re not The Man, man?…
Macho Man Randy Savage shirt
Dig it! Y’all loved that Ric Flair shirt but the madness is runnin’ WILD over here at drunkMall because we found a Macho Man shirt! OOOOOOH YEAH! Best there is! Past! Present! And future! Share this post!
1984 Reagan/Bush Presidential Campaign Trucker Hat
Get that ironic blue collar style game on point with a trucker hat from the 1984 Reagan/Bush presidential campaign. We weren’t alive when any of this happened, so we don’t know why… but people sure do honk their horns at us…
Beanie with Built-In Bluetooth Headset
Just in case, you know, it’s cold and you don’t mind people wondering for a couple minutes longer than if you had a regular Bluetooth earpiece whether or not you’re a totally insane person, walking in circles and talking to…
10 Planets Drinking Glasses
Pluto is a planet in our book, okay? Ok. Now that that’s out of the way, who wouldn’t want a set of drinking glasses that look like the planets in our solar system? Probably people who aren’t smart enough to…
Buzz Cocoa: Caffeinated Hot Chocolate
This is genius. We’re all about drugs at drunkMall - as long as they’re legal! And caffeine is legal as fuck. In fact, that should be caffeine’s new slogan - Caffeine: It’s Legal as Fuck! Anyway, what you’re looking at…
Ric Flair T-Shirt
WOO! I’m gonna tell you somethin’ right now, Mean Gene! Ric Flair is the champion! And to be the man! You’ve gotta beat the man! WOO! Get stylin’ and profilin’ now! Share this post!
Patriotic Fanny Pack
The Patriotic Pajamas jumpsuit was such a drunkMall hit that we’ve been on the hunt for some more American swag worthy of gracing our site. Look at this beautiful fanny pack! What a national treasure! We want to ask Joe…
Superhero Bookend
Thanks to some science stuff this bookend appears to defy the laws of gravity to hold your books up! Superhuman Study Swag Too triumphant for you? Consider the moose skull bookends. Share this post!
LED Dog Collar
Help keep your dog (or ridiculously drunk human friend) safe on late-night walks with a super-bright LED light collar! [Dog lovers should read drunkMall's Human's Best Friend gift guide for dogs and those who love them!] Share this post!
Tupac Shakur “Thug Life” sweatpants
Lest any of y’all punks forget that we can like Hall & Oates and still be hard, feast ya hatin’ eyes on these intense sweatpants. All Tupac has to say to you is “R U still down?” Lounge around with…