Milk and Cookie Shot Maker
Listen, Santa ain't got time for your glass of milk and plate of cookies bullshit this year. Have you ever even considered the logistics of one fat man being pulled around the globe by flying reindeer to give presents to…
EXCLUSIVE: Christmas Gift Guide Super Post
Thanksgiving is over. Black Friday has come and gone. That means one thing: gift guides! You won't be able to get online for more than five minute between now and Christmas without someone trying to get you to look at…
Santa Hat with Hidden Flask
Now that's Christmas spirits! Everyone remembers that Santa's Stocking flask that went viral last year, sold out everywhere and then you couldn't get it for less than $80 anywhere online, right? Okay, well this hat could be this year's that.…
Nightmare Before Christmas Cardigan
Stay warm out there, Halloween Town! Take a classic Fair Isle style cardigan, give it The Nightmare Before Christmas treatment and you get this magnificent black and white sweater that's perfect for fall! The Nightmare Before Christmas sweater features suitable…
Krampus Flask
Get into the spirit of the season with some help from a good flask! What season, you ask? Uh, well, any season really... Fall/winter is insane with the marketing bullshit. As soon as it's Fall, assholes like us start trying…
Sexy Merman Ornament
Hey, sailor! You have to go on the dark web to buy a real merman online, so the best we can do for you is this sexy sea captain merman ornament. If there was a version of The Village People…
Wasabi Candy Canes
You may be thinking, "But, drunkMall, it's nowhere near Christmas! Nobody wants to buy candy canes in the middle of May!" Oh, yeah? Well, news flash, suckers - these aren't your average candy canes! Anyone with adventurous tastebuds knows all…
Reindeer Ice Scraper Mitten
Scraping ice off a windshield sucks on LEVELS! You’re almost guaranteed to cut your hand without even realizing it because it’s so cold your hand is numb. Then, the best part is getting back in the car and realizing that,…
Home Alone: 25th Anniversary Collector’s Edition
Macauley Culkin came out of nowhere last month to remind the Internet that he hasn’t yet died from a (pizza) overdose, so that’s nice. We didn't think that video was that funny, honestly, but that was prob because of the…
drunkNews: Show Us Your Drunk Christmas Presents!!!
Wow! Christmas is finally over! Did everyone make it out without killing a family member? Good… good… So, here’s the deal, drunkMall has been around since September and we have sold some shit between then and now. We know everyone…
The Dead Celebrity Christmas Cookbook
There’s nothing to liven up a Holiday gathering like some culinary advice from recognizable figures who’ve been taking dirt naps for decades! Though you could also bring the zombie garden gnome in from the front yard to use as a…
Snow Machine
It’ll be a White Christmas - one way or another! Global warming got you down? Tired of looking up at the sky, waiting for frozen condensation to slowly descend like angel dandruff from the clouds? You need to know about…