Thanksgiving is so totally tight butthole. Of all national American holidays, Thanksgiving is easily the tightest of buttholes - think about it. Most major holidays require purchasing a gift for at least one other person (and sometimes many other people).…
At 12:01am on Nov. 1, multi-million dollar marketing campaigns roll out to remind all of you good little consumers that the biggest shopping day (or weekend... or week... or whatever they decide it's gonna be this year) is only three…
Who loves the cock? That's right - everyone loves the cock. Okay, we really should have called this a Cock Liker cozy - because it says "I LIKE" above a picture of a rooster - but be real for a…
This pool float is FAAAABULOUS! Everyone makes such a big deal out of the goose that laid the golden egg, nobody ever asks what hatched from the egg. Maybe it was a golden swan! Okay, but that's all fairy tale…
Whether you're chilling in the solar-powered kiddie pool jacuzzi out front of the double wide or snuck into a local motel's outdoor swimming pool, having a floating pink flamingo cup holder is pretty obviously the classy move. Hold your own beverage…
If Han Solo had been born in the year 1995, you know he'd be a fuckboy right now. Hanging out in a brightly colored snapback with non-prescription eyeglasses, spending cash he earned smuggling counterfeit iPhones on $2 cans of Tecate…
Gobble, gobble, gobble! Here ya go, fellas! Put your big bird on display in the style it deserves with this turkey of an undergarment! It's pretty much just an ordinary male G string with one very not ordinary detail: rather…
These majestic creatures are the symbol of America and now you can become one whenever you like with a realistic bald eagle mask and matching set of talons! We're less than a month away from celebrating Independence Day in the…
Always bring a towel. Especially if you're going to the beach! Having a funny beach towel is just kind of a ritual. We really like this towel. And, we'll be honest, it's because of how dejected that toucan't looks! He's so…
People who drink tea apparently love stuff like this. Nobody knows why. Maybe it's all that tea. If you know someone who drinks a lot of tea, chances are good they'll get a kick out of this tea infuser that…
Serious question: is there a person whose job at the pool float factory is to test out the new pool floats? Because that has got to be the best job in the history of capitalism. Laying around in a pool,…
Game of Thrones is coming back and holy hype train, Batman, everyone is starting to get real excited, especially because they're all out of source material! Spoiler alert, George double-R Martin writes slow as balls because every time he tries…